Do you ever see a stranger and think, “Oh wow…that’s a really pretty dress.” And while you think it and think that the stranger looks really nice, you don’t say anything to her about it. Or maybe you see someone on the basketball court with really cool sneakers and you wonder what kind they are and where he got them. But you remain quite and just sit there, wondering silently.
Why? Why do you stay quiet? Why do you refrain from sharing something nice with someone else, something that could possibly make their day?
Perhaps you feel awkward that you noticed something about someone else. Maybe you are worried that your comment or question could be rejected somehow. And seeing as how we are talking about a stranger, this all makes sense. After all, setting good, healthy and thoughtful boundaries is important.
But what if you are having positive feelings and thoughts about someone you care about? What if you are just sitting there doing your work, and you get an overwhelming feeling of love for your partner? Or your sibling? Or your best friend? Do you stay quiet then too? Do you keep that love to yourself? Or do you share it?
It’s possible that you feel awkward that you have such an intense feeling, seemingly out of nowhere and are worried what your loved one might think if you share it. Or maybe it has something to do with the fear of rejection that happens with strangers. Maybe you are afraid (emotional brain stuff, not logical brain stuff) that your loved one will think it’s weird that you send a loving message, seemingly out of the blue. And that may feel very, very scary. And may make you feel very, very vulnerable.
Honestly, when asked, most people will say they don’t know why they don’t tell someone how much they love them.
Now take a minute and think about how you feel when someone tells you that you look nice. Or that they love you and miss you. Or even just that they are thinking about you. My guess is that your initial reaction is one of warmth and love.
So then what would happen if you take the risk with a loved one, and tell them how you feel, when you feel it? Don’t you want them to know that you love them? Sure, we assume that our family and friends just instinctively KNOW that we love them, but most people seem to appreciate a little reminder, a little reassurance.
Obviously, our love languages (stay tuned for a blog on this next week!) play a role in this, but I have yet to meet someone that says that kind words do nothing, and I mean nothing, for them at all. Because they tend to do something, even if it’s little. And isn’t a little bit of feeling good better than not feeling good at all?
So you love know you love them. Let them know that you are thinking about them. And just see what happens. Because they deserve to know they are loved, and you, yes YOU deserve it too!