HTW Root to Fruit - Self-Talk
I love this! I’m going to do more tomorrow, but journaling all of these things and really looking into it was SO eye opening.” – DP
I was on a run, thinking vaguely about the self-talk email, and then my mind wandered over to something negative, and I realized that so much of the stuff I’d felt since early childhood – feeling inferior, ugly, unwanted, of no worth, ashamed, etc… – originated from me. I was telling myself that!
I definitely think that a lot of my emotional baggage comes from my relationship with my parents, but it was super enlightening to realize that so much of those bad, empty, awful feelings weren’t happening because it was true that I had no value.
I think it was me trying to make sense of things – using those feelings as a defense mechanism to keep from being vulnerable. And since I started doing that at a really young age, it was such a part of me that I just sank into it.
Of course it’s very painful to realize this as well – I wish I could go back to my young self and wrap her up in a huge hug. But I think insight like this is part of the healing process.