Karmic Relationships – What Now?

       So karmic relationships.   For those of you that didn’t see last week’s blog, you may be wondering what IS a karmic relationship.  Well, in a nutshell, a karmic relationship is one that you feel that you are unable to break away from, no matter how toxic or crappy it is.  You feel like you can’t escape.  You feel trapped and you feel stuck. 

       When things are bad, they are so, so bad that you feel like you’re drowning in sadness and pain.  But when things are good, they are so, so good that you can’t imagine ever feeling so friggin’ amazing ever again.   

       Sound familiar?  Yes?  Ok, and so now you are likely wondering, how on earth do I get out of it.

       Well, I can think of three options… 

              1)      You can stay and keep on keeping on.  

       This is (obviously) the path of least resistance.  It’s familiar.  It’s what you know.  And therefore, may feel easy.   But when it’s bad, remember, it’s VERY bad.  It’s torturous.  It is painful.  It is humiliating.

       So to stay, you either will need to stuff, stuff, stuff those feelings or you will need to find some sort of positive outlet and/or resource to help build you back up.  

       What tends to happen, however, is people use the karmic relationship partner to build them back up.  It’s a super easy thing to do.  So the noose gets even tighter.  And getting away feels impossible.

              2)      You can leave cold-turkey and do your best to stuff your feelings/urges/desires and live a life full of solitude and misery. 

       So this sounds pretty awful too.  Life is all about relationships, so the idea of being alone all the time just sounds, well, unpleasant.  Even most (all?) introverts need people in some capacity.  We need connection.  We need intimacy.  We as humans are simply wired that way.

              3)      You can work your butt off to determine what lessons are being gifted to you through the relationship and work to develop healthier ways of behaving in all of your relationships. 

       This one sounds super scary and super hard.  And truth be told, it is.  BUT, this is where growth and change occurs.  This is where magic happens.  See, we do not need to remain attached to old, icky wounds.  They do not need to continue to hold power and control over us.  We can let it go.  Easier said than done for sure.  But it is possible. 

       How you might ask?  Well, there are many ways actually, from letter writing to traditional talk therapy to eye movement treatments to hypnosis to a million others.

       The problem seems to be with motivation.  People are attached for a reason.  And as odd as it might sound, there is a level of comfort and familiarity in the attachment, no matter how unhealthy it is.  So many, many people continue to run through the same cycle with the same toxic person over and over and over again.  And while they may say they want it to end, it seems that they really don’t. 

       There is no way to MAKE someone change.  There is no way to MAKE someone want to change.  That’s the truth and it stinks.  Motivation has to come from within in order for change to be truly sustainable. 

      So to end a karmic relationship, the pain has to be worse than the thought of ending the pain.  And that is something only you can decide.  Nobody can do that for you.

      But I believe in you and in your power to change.