So you know that one friend you have that you miss terribly? Maybe it’s somebody that lives far away that you hardly ever get to see or talk to. Or maybe it’s somebody that lives close by that you hardly ever get to see or talk to. Or maybe it’s somebody you see and talk to all the time, but something’s going on in one (or both) of your lives that is keeping you apart.
Whatever the circumstances are, you miss her. And this makes you feel sad. And maybe even a little bit lonely. Because you love her, you enjoy her company, and you want her to know that you are thinking about her. And you are hoping she is thinking about you.
And you know how sometimes you REALLY want to let her know how much you love her and miss her but maybe you guys had a fight and you think she’s angry with you. Or maybe you worry that she’s too busy and that you will be intruding. Or maybe you are afraid that she might perceive you as being pushy. Or needy. Or whiny. Or demanding.
But yet…you still can’t stop thinking about her. You are wondering what she’s doing and if she’s ok. Is she happy? Is she safe? Is she having fun? You are wondering what’s going on in her life. Did she try that new restaurant she was talking about? Is she dating someone new? How is her puppy?
And although she’s totally on your mind, you feel weird about reaching out to her. So you don’t.
Now let’s suppose that your friend is over there (wherever there is) and is wondering how you’re doing and if you’re ok. Are you happy? Are you safe? Are you having fun? She’s wondering what’s going on in your life. Did you try that new restaurant that you were talking about? How are you and your husband? How are your two dogs?
You and your friend are at a communication stalemate. You are each making assumptions about the other, and while these assumptions may be true, they may also NOT be true.
Let’s suppose for a second that they are not true and you are both just being stubborn about being the first to reach out. You may be thinking something like, “Well, if she misses me, she would reach out. If she wants to talk to me and is worried about me, she would text me. If she’s thinking about me, she’d post a meme to my page.” Funny thing is that she is likely thinking the EXACT SAME THING!
So what would happen if you start giving yourself permission to speak from your heart when your heart is speaking to you? If your heart tells you to tell someone you love them, tell them. Tell them for the simple pleasure in telling them, with no expectation for anything in return. Tell them because it feels good to know that you are loved. Say it just because this world needs more love.
If your heart tells you to tell someone that they are amazing, tell them. Tell them for the simple pleasure in telling them, with no expectation for anything in return. Tell them because if feels good to know that someone else thinks you rock. Say it just because this world needs more amazing.
If you think someone has done something kind, tell them. Tell them for the simple pleasure in telling them, with no expectation for anything in return. Tell them because if feels good to know you are being recognized. Say it just because this world needs more positivity.
Let your heart speak. Not only will it make your friend feel good, but it will make you feel good because you did something to make her feel good. And you, yes YOU deserve to feel good.
A Testimonial From a Previous HTW Client
"I have always said everyone should see a therapist in their life because we all have stuff to work through, yet I never did but was the one others came to for advice and a different perspective. 2017 changed my life. The loss and pain I went through broke me like nothing else ever had. My time had come to reach out for help. After searching I came across Megan Gallagher. We interacted through email and text. With my crazy work schedule it ended up being two weeks before I could get into her office. She suggested we could start through email if I was comfortable with that to get the ball rolling. From the very first email it was very comfortable and I felt more relaxed in my everyday life. As the visits continued, I am more myself dealing with my day to day life, which at points I could not do before. Between our conversations and my brief yet amazing result from ART, I don’t focus on all of the stuff and the pain. I remember it but no longer live in it. Thank you."