Battling Demons #2
I know that we have talked about the idea that everyone is battling some sort of demon and that many of these demons may mirror our own. That day’s talk ended with “So remember, everyone is fighting some sort of battle. Try to be kind always.”
Today I’d like to really focus on what happens when we accept the idea that everyone is fighting some battle (or battles) that we know nothing, and I mean NOTHING about. Let’s talk about what happens when we adopt this belief into our way of being and we start treating others in a way that reflects this.
So hopefully everyone is aware that we live in a day and age where instant gratification is a thing…a BIG thing. We have cell phones, wifi, the internet, and all other forms of modern technology to thank for this.
While it is lovely that we can stay so connected, there is also a drawback. Because we KNOW that everyone pretty much has their phone in their hand (or close, close by) nearly all the time, we have begun to expect near immediate responses. And when we don’t get it, we tend to get angry.
This is where considering other’s demons comes into play. Let’s say for example that someone you know and text/speak to regularly is going through something that they have chosen not to disclose to you. Maybe their partner is cheating on them. Maybe their kid had to be hospitalized. Maybe they have some nasty illness that they are not telling many/any people about. Maybe they are in the midst of fighting their demon(s) and the simply do not have the time, space, energy, or desire to share anything of themselves with anyone including you…yes you.
So what if that’s the case? What if that’s real? What if someone doesn’t want to or can’t talk/chat/text/Snap/etc right then, right there, when YOU want them to? Does this mean that they don’t like you anymore? That they have suddenly stopped caring? That they are no longer available to you?
NO! It likely means that they are busy, taking care of themselves or taking care of someone or something else. And “taking care of” can look lots of different ways. For example, it could mean that they are cooking. It could mean that they are changing a diaper. It could mean that they are resting. It could mean that they are meditating. It could mean that they are conserving their energy because that’s what THEY need right then and there. And all of that stuff is ok. In fact, it’s better than ok. It’s self-care and it’s necessary.
So when you don’t get the timely (or instant) response, even if the person JUST texted you, take a pause for a moment and reflect on the fact that you have no idea what’s going on in their head now or really ever…unless they chose to share.
Be patient. And remember that your friend, partner, lover, child, anyone that doesn’t respond right away is likely busy and busy can be happening directly with their bodies or it can be happening inside their head and heart. They are allowed to chose if/when to respond. They do not owe you. And you, yes YOU, do not owe them (or anyone) either. We all deserve to set our own boundaries and do what’s best for us. You, yes YOU deserve this too!
A Testimonial From a Previous HTW Client
"Never before have I ever felt so comfortable and trust worthy in a therapeutic environment. Megan has created a "zen like" atmosphere in her treatment room. Calm, safe, thoughtful. I would, and have, recommended Megan to two of my closest friends. She has saved me ANOTHER 20 years of therapy with ART and her gentle and kind manner."