Asking For Help: From Others and From Self
For some reason, our society here in the US has seemingly decided that asking for help makes you weak. And weakness is a problem. A big problem. And nobody wants to have a problem. Because problems are bad. And if you have a problem, that means YOU are bad. And that’s just, well, bad. But here’s the thing. Everyone has problems. Everyone has weaknesses. And everyone needs help at some point in time, maybe even a lot of the time.
As humans, we are designed to be part of the tribe, hard wired to be part of a tribe, and more successful when we are part of a tribe. Now, this tribe can (and probably should) consist of a variety of people from family members to close friends to professionals to pets even. Humans just do better when they feel connected to others. And if you believe in the whole energy thing, we are connected anyway. We just can’t see it.
Everyone deserves to feel connected. Everyone deserves to feel loved. And everyone deserves to have their healthy needs met. It’s ok to get YOU taken care of before you take care of others.
It’s the old idea of being on a plane that’s going down. If you don’t put your mask on first, you won’t be much help to anyone else because you won’t be able to breathe. Does that make you selfish? Nope. No way. And if you think about it, putting the mask on others actually DOES make you selfish. Because their needs are first because it makes you feel better. What would happen if you put your needs first because it would make you better able to serve others?
So here’s the deal. Everyone is messed up in some way. EVERYONE. None of us get into this life or come out of this life completely unscathed. It is totally normal to need help and totally appropriate to ask for help. It is literally a form of self-care. And self-care is vital to your mental health and well-being. It’s not selfish. It’s not thoughtless. It’s essential.
Please give yourself the time and space to do nice things for yourself. You deserve it. You deserve help when you need it. You even deserve help if you don’t even ask for it. Because you, yes YOU are deserving and you, yes YOU are worth it!