So, I don’t know why we are so bad at asking for help but I have some guesses. For some reason our society here in the US (can’t speak for other places) has seemingly decided that asking for help makes us weak. And weakness is a problem. A big problem. And nobody wants to have a problem. Because problems are bad. And if you have a problem, that means YOU are bad. And that’s just, well, bad.
But here’s the thing. Everyone has problems. Everyone has weaknesses. And everyone needs help at some point in time, if not all and/or most of the time. Sometimes people feel like they are wasting other’s time when they are getting help. As humans, we are designed, hard wired, and more successful when we are part of a tribe and when we have others we can rely on. Now, this tribe can (and probably should) consist of a variety of people from family members to close friends to professionals to pets even. People just do better when they feel connected to others. And if you believe in the whole energy thing, we are connected anyway. We just can’t see it. J
You, yes YOU, deserve to feel connected. You deserve to feel loved. And you deserve to have your healthy needs met. It’s ok to get YOU taken care of before you take care of others. It’s the old idea of being on a plane that’s going down. If you don’t put your mask on first, you won’t be much help to anyone else because you won’t be able to breath. Does that make you selfish? Nope. No way. And if you think about it, putting the mask on others actually DOES make you selfish. Because their needs are first because it makes you feel better. What would happen if you put your needs first because it would make you better able to serve others?
Here’s the deal. Everyone is messed up in some way. EVERYONE. None of us come out of this life thing completely unscathed. It is totally normal to need help and totally appropriate to ask for help. Self-care is vital to not only your existence but to your mental health and well-being. It’s not selfish. It’s essential. Please give yourself the time and space to do nice things for yourself. You deserve it. You deserve help when you need it. You even deserve help if you don’t even ask for it. Because you are deserving and you are worth it!